BY LISA SOWLE CAHILL I was asked to address specifically the topic of sexuality, but I have to begin by affirming that the real crisis that we're facing is not, after all, a crisis of sexual morality: I think all Catholics agree that sex with minors is wrong. The real crisis is about the morality of the institutional response to the sexual abuse that was carried out. That having been said, Mr. Woodward has certainly made interesting connections between sex and the present scandal in the Catholic Church. Many of his remarks exude common sense, others are quite provocative. I would like to take up his ideas about the fundamental meanings of sex. I wholeheartedly agree with his proposal that sex should be part of a committed relationship and that both sex and marriage are meant for nurturing the next generation. Being the mother of three teenage boys perhaps reinforces my views. There are, however, complications. This is a much more difficult argument to make today than it was a generation ago. The sexual world of the early 21st century is far different from that of the mid-20th. North American Catholics of the 1950s and 1960s came out of a very restrictive set of cultural norms for sex. Catholics coming of age in 2002 inhabit a virtually normless culture in which sex is promoted even as it is trivialized. It can often be unclear what the ideal of permanent, procreative marriage demands in the concrete. Exceptions to the norm have been made among Christians at least from the time when St. Paul advised the Church at Corinth that although Jesus said there was to be no divorce, Paul himself was going to allow it in special cases. The Catholic Church's so-called traditional position on permanent, procreative marriage has changed significantly over the centuries. For truly traditional Christian and Catholic thinkers—from Augustine through Aquinas and up to Pius XI and his 1930 encyclical on marriage—procreation was without a doubt the primary purpose of sex. The spousal bond was also important, since its permanence was the basis of marriage's power as a sacrament, symbolizing the union of Christ and Church. But since women up until the modern period were regarded as inferior and subordinate to men, the union of spouses could hardly have been considered the mutual and reciprocal self-gift idealized by Paul VI and now by John Paul II. In the 1960s, the Second Vatican Council erased the hierarchy of these ends and put the love union of a couple, now seen as equal partners, on a par with having and raising children. That was a novelty. Salutary though the move was, it created as many questions as it answered. When procreation was primary, it was easy to settle conflicts among the purposes and goals of sex and marriage. But what if love and mutual fulfillment are equal to and can conflict with having children? What if some unions, such as those of gay and lesbian persons, can fulfill the purposes of love and commitment even if not the purpose of literal physical procreation? What if the love once present in a marriage ends or is violated, and a new union offers hope of more genuine virtue? What about the many couples—otherwise good Catholics—who live together while intending eventual marriage and parenthood? The Church answers all these questions by asserting that sex, love, and procreation are intrinsically tied together in a relation of permanent commitment, essential not only to Catholic teaching but even to human dignity. The Church tries to protect that connection and its sacramental character by erecting and reinforcing a fence made of many specific prohibitions. Unfortunately, we older Catholics of both the left and the right persuasions waste time and lose most of the under-30 crowd by acting as though that fence were more important than the ground inside it—that ground being the profound link among sex, love, and responsibility for children. I think Catholic college students and young adults hunger for some way to live a challenging, inspired life in a culture of materialism, transiency, cynicism, and superficiality. Today's young adults don't need permission to disobey rigid sexual norms of the past, nor, on the other hand, will their hearts be won by abstract, dogmatic, or technical defenses of sexual rules that never connect with their experience. They do want concrete ways to envision their own lives as different from what passes for sexual sophistication in the culture, while still maintaining important bonds with their peers. We really need to start, then, from the ground up—listening first to the concerns of Catholic people, young and old, about the meaning of sexual responsibility in a postmodern, fast-moving, fractured, and often frightening world. Then, in respectful dialogue with our Catholic traditions, we need to revitalize our message that love, commitment, and parenthood do make sense out of sex and fulfill our deepest needs for intimacy, tenderness, and connection. The Catholic Church, and especially Catholic universities, must provide a forum for honest and open discussion. It just will not do to avoid the tough questions here—or to deny that the evidence can be mixed. If the cross is part of the Christian Gospel, then uncertainty and struggle lie on the way to holiness in matters sexual, as in all else. We Catholics are called to live with moral integrity in the 21st century, finding God's presence in sexuality. The challenge, then, is to show how love, fidelity, and trust still make sexual relationships more rewarding in our day and time—and offer the best hope for relationships that can last into the future. For this, wisdom, creativity, and courage will be needed. Lisa Sowle Cahill is Boston College's J. Donald Monan Professor of Theology and the author of Family: A Christian Social Perspective (2000). Photos: Lisa Sowle Cahill (top) and audience members. By Lee Pellegrini Top of page		» Flight Plan         »  The once and future Church     • Terms of engagement • An unsettled realm • The challenge of sex • Answering the call • The new American Church   »  Gasson confidential         »  Special Section: The Church in the 21st Century   » The Church in the 21st Century

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